Activities, Lessons, Weekly, Daily...What Should A Parent Do?

The time has finally come.  Maybe she’s 3.  Maybe he’s 4.  Maybe they’re.  Whenever the age, the question is how many lessons are enough to make your kid well rounded and capable of playing, creating, and enjoying anything life presents to him or her?  What should you do with your kid in this area?

To start, I should explain my wife and I decided before we had our first child that we both were going to work.  We both had expanding careers, spent a lot of money on advanced degrees, generally enjoyed our work, and wanted provide our kids with a certain way of life.  Sometimes it is great; sometimes it is not.  If one of us didn't work, there would be more time to get kids to activities, lessons, and experiences.  One key component of activities is they should fit into the whole family schedule, whatever that may be.

   

        First, you want to expose them to as many things as necessary.  I try to analyze any activity by  how much fun the activity might be.  I also think about if I can imagine my kid being successful.  For example, t-ball for my twin four year olds is unlikely to be successful.  If the boys could hit or pitch for the entire game, they might like it.  Sitting around in the field?  Probably not.

            Any activity for kids under the age of four should be action-packed and of a short duration.  I put the boys in soccer, with 30 minute games each Saturday.  Abysmal and not fun.  We would have practice before the game, working on the requisite skills.  They enjoyed that, playing the Swiper the Fox dribbling game, duck duck goal, and Thomas the train laps while kicking:  They liked that.  If I were to do it again, I would save myself the trouble and just play with them in the backyard until they turn four.

            A great positive in picking activities was bringing a friend.  My twins always have each other, but my daughter has taken almost all of her classes and activities with a friend who lives nearby.  Having the friend gave Chloe confidence and always someone to be “her partner” in the different activities.  It also makes it easy to ride share.  We do gymnastics; they do dance.  It halves the running around.

            I’d also suggest trying to stay close to home.  For me, I’d rather have Chloe play rec league basketball instead of a travel team.  Why?  5 minute commute makes every activity infinitely more fun for me.  Keeps my expectations where they should be.  It also keeps my options open for the rest of the day.

            I think other factors to consider are sleep.  If activities are cutting into the 10 hours sleep the child should be getting every night, then it goes too late or is too much.  Also, there is a need for unstructured time for kids.  Some brief research on downtime is detailed in this Scholastic article.

            I most love activities that are embedded in the school day.  For example, Chloe is in a running club right now that meets during her after school care time.  So, she goes to running club and then heads to her program.  Any time I don’t have to go out again, I am happy.  

            I also really recommend programs that are four to six weeks.  That way, you can try more activities and define interest levels. 

There is no direct research on what is enough for activities and how much is too much.  For 3 and 4 year olds, I would try to limit it to one activity at a time per year.  For 5 to 10 year olds, I like two at a time.  Do I always live that?  No, especially with multiple kids, it can be as much as anyone can do. 

Questions on activities?  Email me at kmowrer@gmail.com.